It Ain't Easy Bein' Me

Friday, December 16, 2005

Grinch is not a bad guy...just oft misunderstood.




Monday (12/05) we lost my Dad's sister. She's not someone I was particularly close to, although I used to see her as a child. The last few years I just saw her at reunions and funerals. Used to play with her kids. And even run with them some as I got a little older. I remember when they first moved out from TX, I think they were the first folks to turn me to ZZ TOP. Fandango album. Good stuff.

Anyway, it just seems like something bad happens every year or two around the holiday season. I just want a few Christmases with no crisis. Is that too much to ask?

Anyway, it just kinda started comin' down on me last night and I had to get away to get some down time. Had to go gaze into the river, painted with the reflections of lights from the city it kisses. It's neat, you know. The lights on and around the buildings themselves just look like dots, and they all look white at first glance. But as they hit the water, the reflection of each little light runs down the entire width of the river, from one bank to the other, coming toward me. They become lines instead of dots. Long lines, and the elongated reflection allows you to see clearly that all the lights aren't white. They're red and green and blue and amber....it's almost like Christmas lights anytime of the year when you see them as the water brings out their true beauty...they're don't smother each other out...they're no longer a blur of lights all running together. Each light is expanded and reflected individually, side by side with thousands more. I can just bury myself into those beautiful colors dancing off the water. They swallow me up. It's good. Usually some music playing, last night it was Simon and Garfunkel.

Some of the boats in the dock already have their Christmas lights up, so that was a little bonus, although where I parked I wasn't really looking at them. Just saw them driving up and leaving. I could glance over my left shoulder to look at them while I was parked, but I didn't really want to. I wanted to gaze into the lights on the water. That's what I like to do. Gaze into the lights and listen to the tunes. The Light swallows up my darkness...the music helps me deal with it.

After I just let the water and music and song absorb some of my pain for about an hour, I left and rode around some. Stuck in some old school Bocephus. I rarely listen to that CD, but when I do I like it. It takes me back to a carefree time when I didn't care about anything but making myself happy. I don't mean to say that I was mean to anyone...I'm just saying that at that point in my life, I didn't have everything else pulling me in a gozillion different directions. Life was simpler. No stress. It was fun. "And I think I know what my father meant when he sang about a lost highway..." So that CD takes me back to a carefree time, plus it has a nice combination of songs about pain and upbeat butt-kicking songs that it just fit in real nicely with picking me up.

And you know, when we get our new bodies...or when we're not in this body with eyes not confined to a body distorted by sin...I believe we'll see the stars are very colorful and beautiful. Instead of being little white dots like we see them now, we'll see all sorts of magnificant colors. We will see God's glory. And we'll hear music. Oh, yes. The stars play to us, we just can't hear them now because our ears are damaged and we are muted in a world drastically affected by sin. This creation He gave us is more...way more...beautiful than we can ever imagine. The stars will be like lights on a Christmas tree...no...even better than that...and they will play music...we will hear music. That's Biblical. The part about the music coming from the heavens. I can't find it right now, I can't remember how it's worded. But it's OT stuff. It's good.

One day everything will be good.